


Rain

by translations (mifan)



Category: NINE PERCENT (Band), 偶像练习生 | Idol Producer (TV)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Non-Chronological
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-17
Updated: 2020-04-17
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:02:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23396707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mifan/pseuds/translations
Summary: The rain, which had been falling all night, stopped.In the mists that still clung to the air, it was hard to see the roads clearly; and so, someone got lost.
Relationships: Chen Linong/Lin Yanjun, Chen Linong/You Zhangjing, Lin Yanjun/You Zhangjing
Comments: 3
Kudos: 11





	Rain

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [雨](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23021347) by [MKSophieZ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MKSophieZ/pseuds/MKSophieZ). 



> hey guys! this is my first time translating a fic but it kind of broke me so i thought i'd ask and op was kind enough to say yes! anyway this is a zdj/cjzb/nynt angst fest that is _not_ chronological. there are also two versions of this fic, one more angsty than the other. the angstier version is the second chapter, not up yet because i don't have the willpower to translate it so soon after i finished this :') 
> 
> the op recommends that you listen to [mercury records](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ENKFTmJxBaY) by guo ding while you read!
> 
> beta'ed by [zhangjun9495](https://archiveofourown.org/users/zhangjun9495/pseuds/zhangjun9495) ! ily aina <3

0

_Your appearance in my youth_

_Was not so you could be absent_

_I want to sprint along the memories_

_Towards you_

_The crystal sky of yesterday_

_Disappears with the waving youth_

_Into the sea of people._

— 《The Crystal Sky of Yesterday》

1

Lin Yanjun walked out onto the terrace, pushing open the door that smelled faintly of rust. What greeted him outside was instead the suffocating scent of humidity and rain. He stepped back inside and his shaking hand quickly grabbed the door and closed it unceremoniously. The sound of the door shutting echoed in the small space. 

“A-jun, you promised me.” Chen Linong’s voice came from behind him. Lin Yanjun turned his head and looked, then turned his entire body around and took the hand that carried the bread and put it into his pocket hastily. 

“You promised me, you wouldn’t eat sweets anymore,” said Linong in a low voice as he approached Yanjun. He brushed aside Yanjun’s bangs, which were slightly longer on the left side. 

But Yanjun’s gaze was clearly avoiding him. 

“You’re missing A-jing.” It was not a question. Yanjun nodded but did not say a word. He lowered his head and his eyes filled with mist. 

2

The night of the downpour, the rain had finally stopped, but everything had changed. 

3

_“Hello everyone, we are NINE PERCENT!”_

Five years later, these words echoed above the Bird’s Nest. Five years ago, they’d held their final concert here, as a farewell ceremony.

“Five years apart, the nine of you are assembled here again. Do you have any thoughts?”

“I really want to sing a song,” Chen Linong said to the host, having raised his microphone first.

“Oh?” The others all looked his way curiously. 

“What song is it? Let’s hear it,” said the host. Below the stage, the fans cheered loudly for the songs they wished to see performed—like “Rulebreaker,” “Firewalking,” or even “EI EI.” 

_“We are already inseparable.”_

No sooner had the words left his mouth did “Goodbye” begin, on stage and off. 

That night, not even the midsummer downpour could put a damper on their fans’ passion. Not unexpectedly, “NINE PERCENT reunites after five years,” “Chen Linong sings ‘Goodbye,’” and such topics dominated social media trending lists that night. 

Fans of the group said that since their debut on April 6th, 2018, this was the first time NINE PERCENT had trended like this— _properly._

4

Long-awaited reunions are, inevitably, accompanied by a visit to Haidilao. NINE PERCENT, full of food-lovers, were no exception to this fate. 

“You Zhangjing, you can’t eat anymore! If you keep eating you won’t be able to lose weight.” 

“Fan Chengcheng! You have a concert next week, you need to maintain your figure!” 

“Kunkun, eat more! Look how skinny you are; you’re like a monkey.” 

…… 

That night, drunk on happiness, it was like everything had returned to five years prior—the exuberance of youth, accompanied by music and laughter. 

Outside, rain broke against the window panes.

5

It was late into the night when the feasting finished, and the dishes seemed to have seen a battle. 

Reunions were always short. The sunderings of yesterday were for the reunions of today, and the reunions of today were not for _separation_ but for a better departure tomorrow. 

The rain, which had been falling all night, stopped. 

Everyone returned to their homes, dispersing. 

In the mists that still clung to the air, it was hard to see the roads clearly; and so, someone got lost. 

6

“My entire life I’ve never regretted something more than not going with him back to the office,” Lin Yanjun said, looking at Chen Linong before lifting his gaze past him to stare at the ceiling. 

The winds here in Tainan, mingled with a damp scent exclusive to rain, carried a suffocating feeling. He felt as if he was decaying. 

7

They never thought that their next reunion would be so soon. Nor had they expected it to be in such a manner. 

Only yesterday, they were enjoying Haidilao in a warm private room, saturated with celebration and the joy of reunion. Today, things were different. Wrong. 

You Zhangjing lay on the hospital bed, an oxygen mask over his face and covered with bandages from head to toe until only his eyes, nose, and lips showed. Like a mummy about to be buried forever. 

And everything around him was a cold white. 

Outside the ICU, an ashy-faced Lu Dinghao was pacing incessantly and wiping at his tears.

“Lu Dinghao, don’t cry.” Chen Linong patted him between the shoulder blades and handed him a packet of tissues. “It’ll all be okay.” 

There was a pause. 

“Nongnong, can you… go to the washroom with me?” Dinghao swallowed. His voice was low and choked with sobs. 

“Okay.” 

At this time, Chen Linong looked around to see that Lin Yanjun was gone.

It was only when he walked with Lu Dinghao through the impossibly long white corridors of the hospital that he saw him again, a lone figure sitting on the benches in the empty hall, Lin Yanjun staring vacantly at a potted plant. 

“What’s wrong?” 

Lin Yanjun looked at a solemn, unreadable Chen Linong and a Lu Dinghao in shambles and didn’t know how to respond. 

“Just… don’t be too upset. Everything will be alright.” Linong rested a hand on his shoulder briefly and disappeared into the washroom with Dinghao.

8

You Zhangjing woke up. 

But even speaking was difficult, so he remained confined to bed. 

The doctor’s recommendation: don’t speak. 

So, everyone else remained on the other side of the glass and used whiteboards to convey what they wanted him to know. 

_You Zhangjing, we’ll always be here._

_You’ll get better._

_We’ll always be here._

When Zhangjing saw these things, he could not help the tears. 

_Don’t cry! Focus on surviving._

_Beep._ You Zhangjing closed his eyes. 

Luckily, he evaded death once more.

“We can’t write anymore. I’m afraid his heart rate might fluctuate, and…” Lu Dinghao was saying, but then he began swallowing as if about to burst into tears again. 

“You’re right. He should focus on getting better.” Lin Chaoze rubbed gentle circles into Dinghao’s back. “Don’t cry. If you cry too much, your eyes will become smaller.”

“Let’s just be here for him.” Justin put an arm on Fan Chengcheng’s shoulder. “Don’t they say that accompanying someone through difficult times is the most sincere way to show that you care?” 

“Right,” Zhu Zhengting agreed, with a nod and a look at everyone else. 

Not long after, Zhangjing’s parents arrived. Seeing Zhangjing in the ICU and the circle of sullen, silent youths around him, they could not help the tears, either.

9

_If I were young and promising and not self-abased_

_If I knew what ‘precious’ meant;_

_The dreams_

_I could not fulfill for you_

_I will be guilty of forever._

— 《If I Were Young》

10

When it wasn’t so difficult for You Zhangjing to speak, he requested to talk with Lin Yanjun and Chen Linong. The medical staff allowed it. But when the meeting finally came, all three of them were solemn and stiff, and unsure where to begin. 

“Nongnong.” Zhangjing opened his mouth first. “If I…” 

“Don’t say this kind of thing.” 

“Take care of Lin Yanjun for me…” 

“You’ll be fine, how could you say something so silly…?”

“Just in case…” 

“I won’t allow for a ‘just in case’ situation.” 

This was the first time since April 6th, 2018, that Chen Linong saw Lin Yanjun cry.

11

Just when everyone thought that You Zhangjing was getting better and better, he left them. 

But only Zhangjing and his parents knew just how deeply he was hurt.

12

In a funeral home in the quiet district in Shanghai, his friends came to mourn him.

And just outside, flanking the doors, were his fans. 

God wanted some music, so he took this divinely talented singer for his own. 

13

Chen Linong had already forgotten what it was like then, how hard it was to walk into Lin Yanjun’s home. 

He only remembers the moment he saw him, Yanjun’s entire body curled up against the wall, a blanket over his legs and his arms around his knees. The blanket was all wet. 

The room was so cold Linong had almost sneezed. 

14

Life must go on. 

Lin Yanjun told the company he was going to take six months off, to let off some steam. The company thought, too, that since he’d just finished filming a drama, he deserved a vacation. And so they gave him leave, and told him to return whenever he wanted. 

On the way home from the office, a slideshow played in his head, images of all the places he had been with You Zhangjing flashing by. 

_ “Lin Yanjun!”  _

But when he looked back, there was no familiar figure. 

15

Stepping into his home, Lin Yanjun was surprised to find that the disarray in his home due to his neglect had been rectified, and in the kitchen area Chen Linong had donned an apron and was preparing supper. 

“A-jun,” Linong called to Yanjun, who was heading to his bedroom. Yanjun stopped, turned, and regarded him. “Have you decided?” 

“Yes, I want to go back to Tainan.” 

16

“If he hadn’t said he’d left something at the office, and wouldn’t let me go with him, maybe none of this would have happened.” Lin Yanjun’s voice was already coloured with tears, and the corners of his eyes were red. 

“If I could do it over, I would’ve gone with him no matter what, and gone back to the hotel together.”

17

_ There had been no time to love _

_ And no time to blame;  _

_ Who barged into my life and left?  _

—《No Exceptions》

18

“Two lattes, one regular, one with double the milk and double the sugar. Thanks.” By force of habit, Lin Yanjun ordered the same things as he had been ordering for the last nearly six years. When the flight attendant left, Chen Linong, sitting next to him, realized just what all of this meant. 

_ Ah, fuck. _

Double-doubles were, to Yanjun, both much too sweet and much too bitter. 

19

_ If you love me  _

_ Then I imagine I must be _

_ The happiest person in the world _

_ You have painted  _

_ The canvas of my life _

_ With the prettiest colours.  _

—《If You Love Me》

20

It was convenient that Chen Linong was recently filming a variety show in Tainan, so he accompanied Lin Yanjun on his return. 

21

“Last time I came back it was with You Zhangjing… 

“Last time Zhangjing and I…”

Lin Yanjun kept talking, so Chen Linong kept listening. 

He saw the sweet, sweet happiness that illuminated his smile as he talked about You Zhangjing; he also saw the bitter silence that followed. 

He missed the Lin Yanjun who was always happy. 

“Lin Yanjun, I learned a new cold joke lately. Once, there were two bananas walking one ahead of the other. The banana in the front felt that it was very hot, so it took off its clothes. Then, the banana walking behind it slipped and fell.

“Lin Yanjun, you really look like a bitter melon, you know?” 

…… 

“Chen Linong, what are you trying to do?” 

“I just miss seeing you smile, is all.” 

22

Every day, Chen Linong would bring Lin Yanjun a bag of buns. 

Lin Yanjun would never refuse it, and would thank him politely. 

Their relationship was both cohesive and awkward. 

23

The hip-hop music festival was, most likely, the first thing in four months that could help Lin Yanjun regain some semblance of normalcy, of  _ before _ . 

Chen Linong bought two tickets and asked if Yanjun wanted to go. 

Yanjun agreed without hesitation.

24

“I’ve always wondered why it’s taking you so long to come to terms with it. You’re just missing a bit of soul, that’s all—you just need to get it back.” 

“But what you’ve lost of your soul you can never recover.”

25

The music festival that day brought a smile back to Lin Yanjun’s face. 

He went outside for some fresh air with a camera, and took pictures of nature. 

Four months since his last, Lin Yanjun finally posted on Weibo: 

_ Long time no see, I miss you even more. _

_Location:_ _Tainan, Taiwan_

26

_ I want to see you by my side when I lift up my head to look at the sky _

_ I want to see all the time that has passed in one glance. _

—《Zuo》

27

A few days ago, Lin Yanjun, with a Long Island iced tea in hand, said that he wanted to give up sweet foods. 

Chen Linong licked the strawberry ice cream in one hand, looked at the melting chocolate ice cream in the other hand, and asked why. 

“I just want a change.” 

28

Lin Yanjun had changed drastically in the past few days. 

The way he dressed was completely at odds with his previous style, and he was experimenting with all sorts of strange garments. 

Both luckily and unluckily, this change only lasted a few days. 

39

“A-jun, I’m going back to Taipei in a few days.” It was only when Chen Linong said these words, out of the blue, that it hit Lin Yanjun that Linong’s variety show and drama filming were both finished. “You said you’d give up sweets, yet you still went up to the terrace to eat buns in secret. That’s a bit much, isn’t it?” 

“I said I’d give up sweets because they would remind me of You Zhangjing, of how he could just leave me behind like this. Today I ate them because I miss him.” 

Chen Linong had nothing to say. 

30

Lin Yanjun took Chen Linong to the ocean. Today was Linong’s birthday. 

The latitude was 22 degrees north; the temperature was 22 degrees Celsius; the wind blew 22 degrees to the southeast, and if you faced 22 degrees north and lifted your head you could see the North Star…

31

Chen Linong’s plane suffered an accident. 

It fell apart in the air—the second case of its kind in the world. 

He had originally planned to return to Taipei via rail, but the company had already arranged the flight for him, so he had been unable to refuse it. 

Lin Yanjun never expected that the day he took Linong to the ocean would be the last time he ever saw him. 

32

_ Life is but a fireworks show  _

_ Falling across our eyes.  _

_ The world is but you and me, _

_ Our smiles and locked gazes. _

_ In all the fleeting crowds and sceneries _

_ You treated me the better than anyone:  _

_ Always so well, _

_ Maybe too well, _

_ And no one knew. _

—《Song About You》

33

Lin Yanjun cried again. 

He thought that Chen Linong would be with him for the rest of the journey. 

The heavens stole away his beloved, and now it has taken away his best friend. 

_ Perhaps the heavens themselves conspire against me. _

34

When Lin Yanjun was cleaning his house, he found an MP3 with a recording function. 

“This is a bargain that can give you anything. Anything you want, you can have, for a price decided accordingly,” an elderly, rasping voice came from the MP3. Just as Yanjun was prepared to turn it off and throw it away, however, he suddenly heard Chen Linong’s voice. 

“Can I use the remainder of my life to bring back You Zhangjing? I want to see Lin Yanjun smile again.” 

“Hm… someone who has already passed? The timeline of this world will change,” the voice said again, followed by the busy tone of a telephone line. 

Yanjun saw that his surroundings had changed; they had become…  _ busy _ , like a stock exchange in in twentieth-century England. 

“Let me tell you something,” the eldery voice said again, cleared its throat. Just then, an old man, the owner of the voice, approached him from nowhere. “You might not know what it means, so I thought I’d  _ show _ you…” 

Yanjun nodded, but he could not open his mouth to speak. 

“Everything will be as it was once; the only thing unchanged will be  _ you _ . There will be two timelines: one of the past, and one of the future I have changed. Only you will be able to tell the difference, and only you will know what has changed. Everything from here on, then, will be up to you.” 

The moment passed. Back in reality, the calendar still read  _ October 5th, 2024. _

But in this new world, You Zhangjing had yet to meet Lin Yanjun.

35

Lin Yanjun returned to Shanghai. 

“It’s been more than a year. You’ve finally come back.” Lin Chaoze was extremely happy to see Yanjun again. 

But when Yanjun tried to look for everything—anything—to do with You Zhangjing, he found nothing. 

36

“Excuse me, do you know where I can find Banana Culture Entertainment…?”

He was only a short distance away from the office when Lin Yanjun heard a  _ very _ familiar voice. He lifted his head and saw—You Zhangjing, the way he had met him years ago. 

According to this world’s timeline, the company just recruited a new batch of trainees. Then… 

_ You Zhangjing is a new trainee? _

The surprise was evident on Lin Yanjun’s face, and in his gaze, but he quickly retracted it. 

“Fifty metres ahead, then turn right.” 

“Okay, thank you!” Zhanjing chirped and gave him a sweet smile. “Have a nice day!” He continued on his way. 

Lin Yanjun stood in the street and watched You Zhangjing’s figure retreat into the distance. He thought of everything that had happened in the past. His heart was feeling all sorts of confused, acrimonious things, and something felt stuck, constricted. 

37

You Zhangjing got along very well with the other trainees and their leaders, Lin Chaoze and Lu Dinghao. 

But Lin Yanjun was not a part of the picture. 

They were not the trainees they once were, not the roommates they once were, much less the ones who shared a bed when they were tight on space. 

And You Zhangjing, when he saw Lin Yanjun, would only greet him with polite distance.

38

You Zhangjing was curious about this senior of his, Lin Yanjun. 

The day he’d asked him for directions, he did not seem overly pretentious, nor did Zhangjing feel that he was as ‘difficult to get along with’ as the others often said. 

“You Zhangjing, let me tell you—Lin Yanjun is so annoying…”

Everyone said that Lu Dinghao and Lin Yanjun were always at loggerheads, and Dinghao’s incessant complaints may have reinforced Yanjun’s cold and sardonic reputation. 

But Zhangjing really wanted to know him. 

Unfortunately, Lin Yanjun had nothing to do with trainees such as them. 

They were nothing but two artists from the same company, sharing nothing but employment records on a resume. Their distance existed accordingly. 

Even so, You Zhangjing believed that Lin Yanjun was a gentle person. 

39

Lin Yanjun released a new EP. In the extended play, there was one song with only a few lines. The song was called “Waiting an Entire Winter.” 

The You Zhangjing now had a life that belonged to the You Zhangjing  _ now _ . He was not the old Zhangjing.

Yet every time he saw this current Zhangjing, he would feel a sharp pain in his heart and think of the rain that night, and the sea that day. 

40

_ I waited an entire winter _

_ Yet you did not appear. _

_ It’s still snowing. _

_ I waited an entire winter _

_ But I still miss _

_ Having you by my side. _

—《Waiting An Entire Winter》

41

It’s only that you are not  _ you _ , and I cannot be by your side anymore.

* * *

Extras

1

When Lin Yanjun’s contract was up, he didn’t renew it. 

He returned to Tainan and opened a coffee shop. 

The shop’s name was

_ Forever. _

2

Lu Dinghao often joked, with some disdain, that You Zhangjing’s new boyfriend was like a carbon copy of Lin Yanjun.


End file.
